It’s my second day in Chiang Mai, Thailand and I spend most of it walking around the city checking out temples. It’s exhausting and I decide to treat myself to a Thai massage. And yes, just a massage. Perverts. I don’t have many lines, but paying for sex is one of them. Besides, I’ve never really understood the point of a handjob. Why let a girl make a mockery of something that I perfected in the 6th grade?