Things I Learned Living with Three Girls… and Charley

I rented my apartment in Madrid while still living in the U.S. so that I would have a place to stay when I first arrived. It was a rookie move, and I ended up paying about 200 Euros more per month than I should have. I decided to move out after the end of my first month and quickly learned that trying to find an apartment in Madrid is like trying to find a quote from Donald Trump that doesn’t make me cringe – damn near impossible.

Fortunately, my apartment troubles led me to a fun two-and-a-half week couch surfing experience, with the East-coast goobers pictured above, where I learned a couple of life lessons.

Before we move onto the lessons, let’s give the crew a quick breakdown.

We’ve got: Steph “Cheeto Dust on Her Sweatpants” Ackermansteph_pic

Maggie “My Tongue is Too Big for My Mouth” Ovian12191469_10153741231971639_2826951336525381040_n

Charley “My Nipples are Too Far Apart” Baxter-Gagen12336155_10153808247721639_1587166649_n

And Amanda Yolanda aka Yola aka Snowflake aka Princess aka The Girl from “The Mean Girls”


Lessons Learned

1. What girls like for presents


I was a little apprehensive having never lived with girls before and decided to buy a housewarming gift to ease the transition.

The video below shows their reaction once they open the present. I haven’t bought gifts for girls very often so I just asked myself: what do girls love most?


Mothafuckin’ tampons (pronounced “tampins”). Girls can’t get enough of ’em. Frankly, I don’t understand the appeal. They taste terrible. But fellas, if you’re ever stressing about a Valentines/Xmas/anniversary gift, tampons will do in a pinch.

2. There’s hair EVERYWHERE

I’ve seen golden retrievers in summer that shed less. I’m of the opinion that detached hair follicles, much like people, seek connection with their brethren and form hair families. If conditions are right, these families then band together to form a hair colony, which I’ve pictured below.


3. No balsamic vinegar is safe from a drunken Charley

I wanted to be as unobtrusive as possible when I moved in, so I stored my things as high up as I could.  This meant that I put all of my kitchen supplies on top of the fridge since I was the only one who could see that high. Doing this with a glass bottle of balsamic vinegar would turn out to be a mistake.

I wasn’t there to witness the breaking of the bottle, but was told that it went something like this:

Drunk Charley and Maggie come home late one Saturday night. They are both hungry. Maggie has a burrito. Charley does not. Drunk Charley, upset at this injustice, slams his hands against the fridge. The fridge rocks, and the balsamic vinegar cascades to the floor, detonating outwards. Here is a video of the aftermath.


Eloquently put Charley.

4. Snapchat is dangerous

This story is a little indirectly related but is too funny not to share. A friend of a friend of one of the girls tried to send a snapchat to the lucky lady he was hooking up with at the time. This very private Snapchat was accidentally posted to his story, and he did not realize it until the next day. Here is that Snapchat:



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About the author

Hi my name is Nick Holke

I'm 25 years old and am currently living in California.

If you wanna know a bit more about me and the website, click here.

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