Sex: Slut or Prude? Player or Loser?

Sex. Everybody’s talking about it, everybody’s done it: our parents (gross), our grandparents (Oh God why?!), our great-grandparents (So wrinkly, sweet Jesus,  stop it!), and so on. But why has this natural act that everyone does become so horribly twisted in our society? It has for both boys and girls, although in very different ways.

Girls have gotten shafted (poor word choice) when it comes to sex. If a girl sleeps with too many guys, she’s a slut. If she doesn’t sleep with any, she’s a prude.

Guys, if you’re not sleeping with anyone you’re a loser; if you’re sleeping with a ton of people, you’re the shit.

What needs to be understood is that there is nothing wrong with either of these lifestyle choices. Sex, as with everything else in life, is what YOU make of it. If you want to have sex with a bunch of different people, go nuts. Just understand the risks involved, use a condom, and bang away. If you want to wait until marriage, then wait until marriage. But with both of these options, and everything in between, make sure that your sex life is a reflection of what you truly want.

Some use sex as a way to run from themselves, as a way to fill that hole of emptiness we all feel from time to time. While sex is generally quite good for filling holes, that hollow pang some of us feel within cannot be solved with an orgasm, although that can certainly serve as a nice distraction.

While it may be a cheesy saying, there is certainly some truth to it: happiness is something that needs to come from within. Sex can certainly compliment happiness, but it shouldn’t be sought as the source.

On the flip side, if you’re waiting until marriage to have sex due to external pressures,  that can be unhealthy as well. This suppression of sex generally stems from religion, and it manifests itself in some strange ways.

For example, I know girls who will only have anal sex because they’re saving themselves for marriage. Not that there’s anything wrong with anal; it’s just that, if you’re putting stuff up your butt, it should be because you have a personal desire to do so and not because you fear religious retribution.

My friends who attended a highly religious school also told me about something that the rebel kids would do called “docking”. This is when a guy puts his dick inside a girl (aka he docks) and then they don’t move…they just lay there, taking planking to a whole new level of awkwardness.

This isn’t a critique on believing in God. The universe’s existence is crazy, life is hard, and death is a mystery – I get it. But if you believe in a God, what’s with his preoccupation with sex?

This dude created the entire, INFINITE, universe. Every planet, star, plant, molecule, was created by this guy. And yet on one planet, of an infinite number of planets, he appears to be incredibly concerned with what one species, out of millions of species,  chooses to put its penis’s and/or vaginas. Why?

The answer is not whether or not God cares, but that WE care. We’re OBSESSED with sex; always have been and always will be. Procreation is what we were born to do and, as a result, it weighs heavily on our minds. We attribute all this unnecessary significance to it when it’s really nothing more than a loving moment to be shared between members of the same species (no bestiality guys).

What you choose to do with your genitals has no bearing on who you are as a person. Unless you’re going around molesting people then, ya know, you should stop that. But aside from a few illegal things, go nuts! Gay/lesbian/transgender/bisexual sex? Have at it! You like dressing up as a dog and humping your partners leg? Fuck yeah! Whatever turns you on, is what turns YOU on. Sexuality is not black and white; it is an incredibly long and diverse spectrum that really has no bounds.

What point am I trying to get across with this post? That it does not matter how often, with whom, or in what way you have sex, as long as you’re doing so because it makes you genuinely happy.

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About the author

Hi my name is Nick Holke

I'm 24 years old and I'm from California. Currently, I'm teaching English in Madrid.

If you wanna know a bit more about me and the website, click here.

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