Author - Nick Holke

1
The Pub with Cold Beer
2
Absinthe and Rapids
3
The Highway to Hell is a Bus Ride to Laos
4
Reverse Stereotypes and Anal Confusion
5
Dye, Drinking, and Dragon

The Pub with Cold Beer

This tale begins somewhere in southern Vietnam. A group of us are trying to get to a place called “The pub with cold beer”. Beautiful name. We rent bicycles and turn down some random dirt path.

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Absinthe and Rapids

Vang Vieng, Laos is a lovely place surrounded by stunning rock formations. But that’s not why people come here.

Basically, the only reason tourists come here is to get shitfaced and go tubing down a river. In its heyday, there were 30 bars dotting the banks of the river. Alcohol and a fast current do not make for a safe mix and roughly 1 tourist a month was dying. It was closed down for about a year and recently reopened with only 2 bars and a few more safety regulations (you’re required to wear a life vest).

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The Highway to Hell is a Bus Ride to Laos

The ethereal scenery pictured above is located in the lovely country of Laos.

In order to reach this paradise, I had to take a 14-hour bus ride from Thailand that was one of the most miserable experiences of my life. This is the story of that journey.

Prior to the bus ride, I’m hungry and need a snack. Decide in infinite wisdom to purchase the craziest looking snack I can find to try and experience the culture. This will become important later in the bus ride.

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Reverse Stereotypes and Anal Confusion

My final stop in Thailand was a place in the northwest called Pai. It’s an extremely hipster area that is dotted with coffee shops/vegan restaurants and is surrounded by waterfalls and natural formations. In order to get to these places, the main method of transport is renting a moped.

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Dye, Drinking, and Dragon

My shaving cream was confiscated at the airport and I needed some to look presentable for my future Australian wife. I go to 7/11. Everything is in Thai and extremely confusing. Grab a bottle that looks like shaving cream. Only English word on the bottle is “white” which I don’t really understand. Assume that it’s either referring to the color of the foam or that black people aren’t allowed to shave in Thailand. Racists. Go to the counter to try and communicate with the cashier.

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